Saving a Dysfunctional Marriage

By Marita Littauer with Chuck Noon, MA, LPCC
Guest Columnist

CBN.com -- This week, meet Ed and Elizabeth. Because of her enthusiasm for self-help and personal growth, Elizabeth feels that she has "out-grown" her husband and, thus, their marriage.

The Issue

Ed and Elizabeth have been married for fourteen years. They married when they were both brand new Christians. Ed was barely divorced from his first wife at the time. They married more from their mutual dysfunctions and neediness rather than from whole hearts, desiring to give to and love one another. After all these years, both of them have gone through many changes.

Elizabeth, a Popular Sanguine/Powerful Choleric, has spent a great deal of time with God, counselors, and self-help books; she sees herself as an entirely different person than she was when she and Ed married. She feels she can now relate to and experience a much healthier relationship.

However, from Elizabeth’s point of view, Ed, a Perfect Melancholy, has not grown as she has. She believes she has worked hard to overcome many obstacles only to find that her husband has not grown along with her, nor does he want to. Ed and Elizabeth are currently seeing a counselor and considering divorce.

How can personal change encompass growing together in a marriage, rather than apart? Next week, we'll focus on the “The Insights” of this issue, looking first at the concept of individual maturity and how it impacts a marriage.

This article is part one of a four-part series. Be sure to watch for the next installment of Marita's column where she will offer insights to help Ed and Elizabeth save their marriage.

Read Marita's previous columns.

Marita Littauer is a professional speaker with more than twenty-five years experience. She is the author of 17 books Including Personality Puzzle, Communication Plus, The Praying Wives Club, Tailor-Made Marriage—from which this column is derived, and her newest, Wired That Way. Marita is the President of CLASServices Inc., an organization that provides resources, training and promotion for speakers and authors. Marita and her husband Chuck Noon have been married since 1983. For more information on Marita and/or CLASS, please visit www.classervices.com or call 800/433-6633.

Chuck Noon has worked as a professional counselor--licensed in two states. He holds a BA in Motion Picture Production from Brooks Institute and an MA in Marriage, Family and Child Counseling from the University of San Diego. He has worked with hundreds of families and couples in many varieties of settings. Currently, Chuck is working in mental healthcare management. Chuck and Marita live in the mountains outside of Albuquerque.