Preventing a Broken Heart: Is It Possible?

By Kathleen Hardaway
Author and Precept Ministries Staffer

CBN.com – I will never forget the night that I cried so hard I wondered if I was ever going to stop. All I can remember was finally going to bed and crying myself to sleep. My friend, have you ever had a broken heart? Has the pain been so deep you thought you just wanted to die?

Hurt and pain can come in many different forms, but those that come from a broken heart seem to hurt us the most. There can be deep disappointment when relationships don't work out.

Is it possible to date and not get hurt? Certainly. Is there anything you can do to help prevent heartbreak? Yes. There are lots of things that you can do to help. However, you are never excluded from heartbreak if you give your heart to someone. The deeper the relationship, the greater the potential for pain or joy.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where many date with reckless abandonment. Godly integrity is often not a part of dating, and enormous consequences and heartbreak are inevitable. If there was ever a time we need some basic guidelines in dating, it's today. If our television sitcoms have become our standard, we're in deep trouble.

Following a few basic truths from God's Word is the answer to preventing much heartbreak. Whom should you date? Whom should you court? Whom should you spend time with? There is absolutely one essential key in the area of dating. If you're a believer, then you must date a Christian.

God says in His Word, "Do not be unequally yoked." Since dating often times leads to marriage, you don't ever want to get involved with an unbeliever. Plus, "Bad company corrupts good morals." You may think that you're just having fun and you never intend to marry the person you're dating. I have known people who began dating someone just for fun and ended up marrying them. With deep regret they admit they made a huge mistake. Watch whom you spend time with.

The key to a good marriage is respect; therefore, one of the biggest goals in dating should be respect. If you don't respect whom you're dating, and if they do not respect you, stop the relationship now!

Often I hear a woman tell me that the man does not respect her, and he pushes her too far in the area of sex. This is an age-old problem that continues to break the hearts of countless women. How do you guard your heart? One way is by "Fleeing youthful lusts." If you play with fire, you will get burned.

As a Christian, you must have a passion for purity. If you truly have a passion for God, then you should have a passion for purity. Much can be said on this subject, but the key is holiness. The Bible is very clear: "Be ye holy for I am holy." This should affect what you watch, what you read, how you dress, and certainly whom you're spending time with.

Getting to know the opposite sex does not necessarily mean telling all of your past. We have often been fooled into thinking that an intimate relationship cannot happen without pouring out our hearts about our past. Be very careful about this. If a relationship does not work out, you may be sorry later for what you've said.

If you're pure in your dating relationships, you are less likely to experience as much heartbreak. Always pray about every friendship that you have. Ask God to show you the direction a relationship should go. Treat them as you would like to be treated.

Keep your relationships pure. Keep your relationships simple. Keep relationships held with an open hand. Ask the Lord to use you to be one who is pointing all your friends to the Lord. Be honest with yourself, and certainly be honest with whom you're dating. If the person you're spending time with is trying to fool you into thinking he is a Christian, but he is just trying to steal your heart, ask the Lord to show you who he really is.

A lady shared with me her deep hurt after rushing into marriage. "Please tell anyone who is single to not be blinded into thinking the person they're dating is a godly person if they're not. I married my husband much too soon. I thought he was a believer, and I know now I was very deceived. It's much better to be single than to be in a wrong marriage."

Is it possible to avoid a broken heart? There is no guarantee. But there are ways to prevent the hurt from devastating your life. In all your relationships walk in a godly manner that is pleasing to the Lord. Yes, my heart has been broken many times, but, praise God, He has been faithful. As I reflect on the past, I am so grateful for relationships that did not work out, because I was headed toward a wrong marriage.

My friend, wait on the Lord. Trust the Lord. Always put your hope, your joy, and your dreams in Christ. When He is first, then, single or married, you will have a peace that no person or thing can take way.

Kathleen Hardaway is on staff at Precept Ministries International and has produced and directed Kay Arthur's TV show How Can I Live? for more than 17 years. A single herself, Hardaway is transparent and humorous in her first book, I Kissed a Lot of Frogs: But the Prince Hasn't Come (Moody, 2002).