Go backstage with The 700 Club as we interview author Stacy Hord about her personal dating-after-divorce dos and don'ts.
Watch the clip. 
GUEST
Stacy Hord: A New Vision for Dating
CBN.com
– DIVORCE
Like many people, when Stacy Hord and her husband decided to get a divorce, their marriage was over before they finished filling out the paperwork. Their 16-year marriage had been a turbulent one and the next year wouldn’t be much easier for Stacy.
She and her girlfriends lived party to party. She wined and dined with man after man. One night after being out late partying, the loneliness sunk in. “Sin is fun for a season,” says Stacy, “but when that season is over, you are the most miserable person.”
She plunged into dating so quickly after her divorce that she never allowed herself the time to regroup and heal from her marriage. “People are coming out of relationships and bouncing right back into relationships,” says Stacy. “People just need time to heal.”
Stacy grew up in a divorced home. When she was ten, her father left. When Stacy was 16, her father had a miraculous encounter with God and started seeking Him with all his heart. He tried as best he could to restore the lost years of her childhood. They both knew they couldn’t go back, but they could move forward.
DIVORCE RECOVERY WORKSHOP
After completing her own journey through the divorce recovery workshop at her church, Stacy began to see God invade her life and heal her heart. She began facilitating the workshop, and at the beginning of each new class, Stacy would ask the participants to take time to focus on themselves and not date or even think about dating while they are taking the 10-week course. For some people that is way too long and they did not follow through with the course, but those who did found healing and growth that they couldn’t have imagined.
Some reasons why you should consider taking a short time out before returning to the dating scene.
(1)You need to be fixed. When your heart has been cheated and hurt or it’s in a confused state, it is essential to take a break and do some mending.
(2) In this state of brokenness there is an all too real danger and consequence of landing in another unhealthy relationship. Like attracts like—if you are emotionally unhealthy, inevitably you will be a magnet for another unhealthy person of the opposite sex.
Also a great reason to take some time to mend yourself and regroup from your previous relationship is (3) to make sure you are mentally ready to detect a counterfeit. There are many people out in the dating world that can say all the right things.
LOOKS AREN’T EVERYTHING
There are many ways of determining whether someone is going to be a good person to date or candidate for marriage. If simple attraction was the standard to measure whether or not you should be with someone, you would be with hundreds of people and even after you are married you will come across people you are attracted to. If you follow just your emotions and feelings and act on every single one, you will be a mess.
In her book, Stacy talks about red light and green light qualities. Some red light qualities are a bad reputation, quick attachment, the flirt, anger issues, and someone who belittles your opinions. Green light qualities to seek: kind and courteous, someone with a good reputation, financially responsible, a God seeker and walks in the fruit of the spirit, among others.
Getting yourself healed from those heart wounds and awareness of those red lights are especially important when kids are involved. Trying to make relationships work that are not healthy ends with you spinning your wheels in senseless relationships and the kids are the burnt rubber left on the road. Taking time to seek God’s wisdom for your divorce and relationships afterwards will open oppurtunities to show your kids how to depend on God. “When I get the release from God to date again,” says Stacy, “I want to be able to show my boys how to date.”
ABOUT STACY
Stacy Hord was crowned Mrs. Missouri in 1997. “I had been modeling and several people suggested that I enter the Mrs. Missouri Pageant,” says Stacy, “I entered and took first runner up. The next year I won.” The year after she won, Stacy was a spokesperson for Missouri events and spoke at many assemblies. She later co-hosted a popular talk-radio show Rod & Stacy in the Mornings.
She is a single mother of three boys and attends the James River Assembly, a mega-church of over 12,000 members. She has served in the Divorce Recovery Program along with other ministries. She is a keynote speaker and is very passionate about overcoming the stigmas and hopelessness that are associated with “single-again” adults by unveiling God’s heart of grace and restoration.
Go backstage with The 700 Club as we interview author Stacy Hord about her personal dating-after-divorce dos and don'ts.
Watch the clip.
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